little white lies

Admit it, you have at least told a white lie every once in a while.  And hell, I'll be the first to admit it:  it's fun.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I won't lie about important things to important people.  That's just wrong.  But to tell white lies to complete strangers that you will probably never speak to again... maybe not so bad.

In the last couple of years, a hobby of mine has been ballroom dance.  I like to go to the social dances just to practice, have fun, and let loose after a long day of work.  It puts me in a good mood at the end of the night.

So one night several months ago, I went to the ballroom social dance.  A guy asked me to dance, I said yes, and we were out there having fun on the dance floor.  Good times.  However, that day I was particularly stressed from something about work, and it was just the LAST thing I wanted to think about.  However, my dance partner really couldn't take the hint.


Dance Partner:  How has your day been?

Sarcastical Girl:  Not too great, but it's much better now now that I am here dancing.  How about you (I get cut off)...

DP:  What do you do for work?

SC:  Oh, I just don't really want to talk about it, no offense.  Just really stressed about something.

DP:  It can't be THAT bad.

SC:  Well... (I'm fumbling for a way to shut down the conversation about my work).

DP:  C'mon I bet it's not bad.  What projects are you working on?

10 second pause

SC:  I work for the government.

DP:  Oh wow!  In which department?

SC:  I'm not classified to give much information on that.  It's a very high-risk project including transportation and safety but other than that I cannot reveal anything.  In fact, I may have to kill you for even telling you that much.

DP:  Oh man  - I wish I knew what you did!  That's so fascinating!  Do you work nearby?

SC:  I cannot disclose where I work.  Again, safety and privacy regulations.

DP:  Do you receive orders from Obama, himself?

SC:  My boss in the end is of course, Obama.  But the person ahead of me is much like Charlie in Charlie's Angels.  Just a voice with messages.  We talk on a secure private line and I just follow my instructions.  By this time, the dance was over, and I bowed to him saying thank you.  Thanks for the dance.  I walk away.


Now this guy was just stupidly gullible.  Nobody would believe that load of crap.  But apparently he DID, and it was fun being a super government spy even for 2 minutes.

I might have scared DP away, because I have never seen him at the ballroom social dance again.

Maybe I've struck gold:  come up with random crap to either lure people in, or turn people away.  Maybe the next time a creeper hits on me, I will tell him I am a tax auditor and ask him if he has kept all of his receipts.  At that point, he won't care about buying me a drink or getting me in my pants.  He'll be too busy panicking and sweating bullets.