Hey y'all.
Sorry for not writing sooner. I think I need to make this at least a once a week type of thing. And also, while dating stories are fun to write, there's more to life than writing about cray cray cavemen that live in California.
But since I am many stories behind, I do owe you some more dating stories. Here we go.
In my dating online endeavors, I met a guy named Jake. We had been messaging each other for a few weeks, but he never made a move. While he was funny in script, and while he had a chance to edit himself, he never asked "when can we meet up" or "can we chat on the phone?" Now, I gave him a little credit, because he is a professional writer. But enough is enough.
So I asked him, Jake are we now penpals, or would you like to meet in person? He replied something to the effect of: I like to get to know someone a little more before meeting up in person. Well....I come from the perspective of meet-the-dang-human-in-person-and-see-what-you-think. Why should I waste my time?
Being sick of men calling the shots, especially when the shots they call SUCK I asked him for his phone number and suggested that we talk on the phone before we meet in person. We then agreed on a time where we were both free to chat.
The conversation actually went pretty well, and he was a chatty fellow. Asked a lot about my job and family, we both shared some stories about friends, yada yada. So at the end, we decide to throw in the towel and set up a date. He suggested this Italian restaurant not so far away, and I was looking forward to it.
I have been advised by my girlfriends to always dress it up a bit more for dates, casual-chic if you will. Well, really wanting to blow it out of the water, I wore this black dress about down to my knees, and heels along with a black sweater. Hair straightened, lipstick on. I thought I looked pretty good, if I do say so myself. Well, when I rolled up to the front of the restaurant this is what I saw: cotton-material weird-green-colored button down shirt, awkwardly tucked in to his too-short-hemmed slacks with his socks and shoes not going with his outfit. Now I try not to care tooooo much about what men wear, especially since who they are matters 100% more. But if you can't get it together for a first date, it makes me worry a little bit of what you wear normally.
He also wore glasses (something that wasn't advertised on his profile), he was also 2 inches shorter than he said, and there was just something... I don't know. I couldn't put my finger on it. He was physically awkward. And to make it worse, when I waved hello to him while I was walking up to the restaurant, he gawked at me like I was Angelina Jolie/Jennifer Aniston/insert some hot celebrity here. And I am not a hottie mchottster like those two ladies are. Nobody is!
So he was clearly attracted to me, and for me...not so much as far as physical attraction goes. So I try to scale the conversation back and not be flirty at all. I just tried to treat it as two friends who decided to get dinner.
As we are seated, the waiter says "bonna serra" and I return the sentiment. Meanwhile Jake interjects an awkward nasal-sounding "hello" here and there. He had no fun talking to the waiters in Italian. At all. It was a bit weird. He ended up getting a salad with his dinner, and he looked like a 4 year old struggling with how to hold a fork. He stuck a whole piece of romaine horizontally in his mouth, shoving it in his mouth with a taco. Did he really have to do that? Couldn't he have cut it in a small piece like a normal person who knows how to use a fork and knife?
On the table over the fabric tablecloth, there was a paper tablecloth. Well he couldn't resist fussing and messing and crumpling and twisting that thing around his fingers. It was really annoying. I figured he was so nervous. He also kept tensing his shoulders and leaning a bit to one side. I was wondering what the heck is up with his back? Is his chair not comfortable? CALM DOWN!
He also had some volume issues. Spoke either way too loudly or not loud enough at all. Random social nuances seemed to escape him. It was weird. He also dropped his knife and acted like a bomb had grenade had landed at his foot. I casually handed him my knife telling him I didn't need it.
Finally dinner ended, no dessert thank god. When we are walking outside, he said that he's catching the train home and I pointed out that my car was in the other direction. I figured he would at least go in for a hug at the end of the night. Well. It was the most awkward goodbye in the world. He saw that I was thinking about a hug, but he shook out his hand, then I put out my hand, then he went in for a hug, then I went in for a one-armed hug, then he backed away......soooo bad. Finally I pulled him in for a hug, said "night" and walked in the other direction without looking back.
He called me the next day saying he had a good time, and that he would like to see me again. Well, he was a very nice guy but he had some odd things going on, clearly. But because he was a gentlemen and showed me a good time I guess, I thought "nice guys shouldn't finish last" and I agreed to go on a second date with him. I also felt bad for being maybe too harsh too soon, and that I can't diss him for dropping a knife in a weird manner. While I agreed to see him, I was still very hesitant.
To be continued.
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