I grew up in a small town, where you went to school with the same people all the way from K-12. And also, it's the type of town and the type of people where if you make an epic ass of yourself it will never be forgotten. Now it's all fun and games until the joke is on you. This is a more innocent story, but trust me there are worse. And I will probably write them later on when I have some more followers. So if you are reading this, please follow my blog. The more followers, the better the stories.
This story is a gem of a story circa 1998 in elementary school. I had a friend in school, let's call him Tom. Tom was one of the few black kids in school, and sat next to me in class and we would crack jokes quietly about friends we didn't like and wish they would fall and trip. Schaudenfraude anyone? This was a friendship I didn't want to lose. Not every 11 year old has this sense of humor.
After school got out I usually waited on the front lawn outside the principal's office waiting for my mom to pick me up. She has an old red sedan Toyota Camry with a UNC sticker on the back. Mind you, no one in my family went to UNC.
Tom and I were waiting outside on the lawn as usual, and I saw my mom's car pull up. I said bye to Tom and gave him some version of a high five - I don't remember. What I do remember is that Tom made a very confused face as I started walking away. I thought "what's his problem?" as I opened the back door and sat down.
I buckled the seat belt, put my backpack down, and started chit chatting about my day. When I look up to the drivers seat, it is Tom's 250lb. mother who is giving me the look of "who the f*** do you think you are, and get the f*** out of my car." All she did was stare and give me the stink eye.
I immediately unbuckled my seat belt, grabbed my backpack and leaped out of the car. Tom not only was laughing hysterically, but he was on the ground holding his stomach along with some of my other classmates.
I then look ahead hoping for an escape, and I see my REAL ride home. I run to my mom's car and jump in.
Mom: Why did you get in Tom's car?
Me: CAN WE DRIVE NOW?
Mom: What were you doing? Did you need to talk to Tom's mom?
(in the meantime, kids are running towards my mom's car with their hands pointing at me and almost dying of laughter)
Me: I WANT TO GO HOOOOOME NOWWWWW!
Mom: Jesus H Christ, (sarcastical girl), alright. We're going, we're going. I saw the whole thing from my rear view mirror, man you should have seen your face. You were so embarrassed!
The next day rolls around and Tom is waiting outside for me giving me the evil smile. I start walking towards him and he said his mom never wants me getting in her car again. I agreed that it would be best. Tom and I remained close after that, but he knew he had one over me. I wished for about a month something equally as embarrassing would happen to him, but it never happened.
Why aren't there empty ditches around at these points in your life to jump in where you know nobody will find you? Those would be handy.
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